New poll! Hillary infuriates, but Trump nauseates
Do you remember? That time when well over 50 percent of American population was just deeply, excruciatingly embarrassed, to a palpable and abiding degree, but the eight-year national nightmare that was...
View Article15 essential New Years resolutions you still have time to make
Fewer cat videos, more theoretical physics Ramp up intake of efficacious inebriates/meditation techniques that successfully alleviate ongoing realization that you live in a country where the leading...
View ArticleForbes endorses LSD: Is the end near?
Is this how we know? Is this a sign that the Great Shift is nigh, that a glimmering New Age of feral creativity and unquenchable universal love is finally upon us? Probably not. Not when Forbes, AKA...
View ArticleCongratulations! You just won the Powerball jackpot! Here’s 25 things to buy
After a rather massive tax bite, that record $1.5 billion Powerball prize will net you about $500 million, give or take (and mostly take). What could you possibly spend it on? How about:
View ArticleBREAKING: Donald Trump NOT the antichrist, biblical scholars confirm
And thus it was written: There can be only one. You know… at a time. One antichrist, that is. One bringer of darkness, one harbinger of doom, one bleak and snarling herald of all that is cruel and...
View ArticleThe horrible no good very bad February weather everyone loved
Man, those long walks I took with my girl down at Ocean Beach a couple weeks ago? Right smack in the middle of San Francisco’s normally dreary, rainy, bitterly refrigerated February? At sunset?...
View ArticleThe Trump Army: Haters invited, incited and convinced to hate
A nation’s deep and angry political divide collided on a Chicago college campus Friday night, keeping Republican presidential front-runner Donald Trump from taking the stage at a major rally just days...
View ArticleNew iPads are here! If you live long enough, that is
I adore juxtaposition. I love it when, thanks to the cataleptic cruelties of the Interwebs, you can now read all manner of surreal, inspiring, devastating and/or intellectually insulting headline all...
View ArticleHorrible parents choose Trump!
The questions are as timeless as they are morally imperative: How to pass on the most helpful values and ideals to your children? How to best ensure their safety and integrity as they grow? And what of...
View ArticleTime to live outside the box, SF bros
Maybe this could actually work? Maybe we should let all of SF’s sweet, meek 20-somethings live inside tiny plywood boxes inside other, larger apartments occupied by actual adults, and still overpay for...
View ArticleCheer up! Rush Limbaugh is not long for this world
Politics got you down? Insane climate change data making you queasy and fatalistic? Wishing the legislators of North Carolina and Florida and Mississippi, et al would fall off the map and move to Abu...
View ArticleWhen fear wins: Brexit, the vicious cautionary tale
This is what happens when you enflame and provoke to the point of vicious irrationality. This is what happens when you make vague and heartless, crass, openly racist, fear-based, hyper-jingoistic...
View ArticleThe $300,000 SUV: Bentley’s gorgeous obscenity
Here’s a fun thing you can do – if by “fun” you mean “shamelessly obscene, totally silly and sort of karmically destructive.” Why not treat yourself to a long, luxurious visit to the Bentley Bentayga...
View ArticleNo sex please, we’re Millennials
Perhaps we’ve got it all wrong. Maybe the downfall of western civilization will not, in fact, come by way of a gaseous cloud of rancid, orange-faced ignorance. Maybe we will not unwittingly consume our...
View ArticleGeneration Uber: The world’s most annoyingly entitled?
It probably won’t last long. There will surely be another painful correction, another tech bubble burst, an impressively horrible socioeconomic downspin wrought of, well, who knows what. Global...
View ArticleTrump’s trolls: Not long for this world
Make a note of this moment. Take some kind of karmic snapshot so you remember the exact qualities of the toxic, debilitating rash right now tearing at the skin of the collective soul, for it is...
View ArticleSupporting Trump is not your “opinion.” It’s just death
This is not a matter of opinion. It is not a matter of which party’s sociopolitical agenda you “believe” to be fair and true, and which you think is unsustainable and damaging – a bit of education...
View ArticleDear Trump voter: Your new president despises you
Oh, he very much does. You are the same “loser” working-class invisibles he’s exploited and subjugated his entire business career. You are the same disposable cogs he’s mocked and derided since his...
View ArticleMeanwhile, Trump intensifies groping of America
Was it his recent anti-Hillary tweet storm, childishly bashing his former rival again and again for joining Jill Stein’s recount effort, the bitchy little hissy fit coming, this time, not from a...
View ArticleThe Trump era: How wildly doomed are we?
More than a third of all the trees in California – more than 100 million of them, covering roughly 7.7 million acres – are dead. But it’s OK, because the forests are largely empty anyway, given how we...
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